Ranting Post #1

274 days to go.

People who don't follow up or confirm appointments. People who don't respond to your phone calls or e-mails. People who try to jack up their price because they know it's your wedding day, and you'll pay them because you need their service. These are just a few things that have been pissing me off so far during this whole wedding planning process.

Since when has it been OK to make an appointment and not confirm it and end up cancelling at the last minute? When did it become a good business practice to ignore a potential customer and a) make them wait b) not respond to e-mails or phone calls or c) charge a ridiculous price for something solely for the fact that it's for a wedding?

I'm not sure if it's common business practice or if I am just contacting the wrong vendors. But these are reputable people who run their our businesses. They come highly recommended...is it me? Am I expecting too much? Is expecting a phone call back just to much to ask?

I don't know, I really don't. Maybe it's the city I live in. Maybe the pond is so small that these "business owners" feel that you will put up with their $hit because it's slim pickings...

Really....WTF?

Saying 'Yes' to the Dress

280 days to go.

Milestone in wedding planning today. I 've said 'Yes' to my dress. To be completely honest I feel a giant weight lifted. I know that the dress I chose is the right one for me. After trying on dress after dress, not quite feeling right in any of them I found it. It took me another trip to try it on again to realize that it was the right fit for me, that and the fact that I've been looking at pictures of me in it for the past few weeks.

There is all this hype about finding the right dress...The One. There's even the TLC show devoted to it; which yes, I am addicted to. People always tell you, when you find it you know; which is true to an extent. You know because you feel that you don't have to look anymore, not that a wave of emotion will wash over you and tears will come streaming down your face. Listen, I'm not knocking the experience for others out there, but sometimes you find the one without really even knowing it. Sometimes it takes a second try or a second, third and fourth glance.

Maybe I'm just not that kind of girl; the girl who looks in the mirror and starts to cry because all her life she had been looking forward to the moment where she can see herself in her wedding dress. I'm not the girl who has been dreaming of one perfect day. I don't wanna look like a princess or a fairy or whatever they try to look like. I just wanna look like me. As you have realized my now,I am no princess. I just wanna be in a pretty dress with hot shoes. I wanna look back at my photos and not cringe, not say "what was I thinking? No cream puff here please. I know, I know, I'm taking all the fun out of being a Bride. The dressing up and the being the centre of attention. Don't get me wrong. I want all of that. For the ladies out there who did and will cry when they put on 'the one' and for all those ladies who do wanna be a princess, I say all the more power to you. I just wanna be the Bride on my own terms, in my own way and the princess way is not it. After all, I think that is the most important thing to keep in mind when figuring out the day's attire.

I will say this. I am very happy with my decision. I feel great in my dress and most of all I feel like myself. I look at myself in it and I feel content. The dress is not overpowering me and I don't overpower it; can I stand to loose a few pounds in it? well that's a given, but I and the dress have met in balance. It may not be a Wang or a Monique Lhullier, and that's okay with me. Heck, it may not even what the future hubby would expect me to choose but I think he will be pleasantly surprised. Well, he better. For the prices they charge (before alterations) he better think I'm the hottest thing around... That is if he doesn't already.

Is size is just a number?

284 days to go.

There I was laying on the couch, sick as a dog watching TV when Tyra came on. Now, I usually don't watch talk shows..especially Tyra, but this one got my attention. It was about society's perception of people based on their weight. To give you the low down she had a group of people (different shapes and sizes) and asked them to rank which body type should be at the top of the social ladder. Needless to say this cased a stir. I mean that is what makes for good television, isn't it? Especially when a former model tells us we shouldn't judge based on looks.

This made me think; Not like I had anything much else to do since I was hacking, coughing and blowing my nose. It made me think of the pressure for Brides to look a certain way one their wedding day. To be fit, lean and wear their dress like nobody's business. I will admit I have put the same pressure on myself but have fallen behind for the time being. Now, let me say if I do loose any weight I don't want it to be dramatic to the point where it's not me anymore. Last thing I want is to loose curves and be mistaken for a teenage boy. I am who I am and nothing can change that...I'd just like to be me with a smaller dress size :)

I can only speak for myself here. I feel that the pressure maybe ever more present for a woman like me. A "big girl" who has tried for years to control her weight wedding dress shopping has been tough. Don't misunderstand me, when I'm fit I love the way I look, I'll strut around in my underwear like I'm a super model. But when I'm not well...let's not go there. This turned my focus on dress shopping, since I have yet to put a deposit down on a dress I couldn't help but wonder if I was at an unfair disadvantage because of my size.

For those of you who have never been wedding dress shopping, it humbles you. Sizing completely messed up. If you are usually a size 6 you wear an 8 in wedding dress. A size 10 wears a size 12 and so on and so on. That alone can easily deflate any ego. To add to that the fact that there is only one dress in a certain style in the store...well. There are so many dresses I wanted to try on when I flipped through the wedding magazines and the online stores. However, many of the samples were never in my size. Given if it's close enough to your size you still try it on and you get clipped into it; but what if it was off...way off. Say I needed as size 12 and it came in a 8. Let me tell you, that sucker is not fitting anywhere on this body, and the last ting I need is to come out and stand on a pedestal is a dress that doesn't do up with my ass hanging out the back.

I know a salon can't house every size of one particular dress, I just wish that some of the choices they did have in a larger size were more sexy and modern rather then looking like a giant satin duvet. Now I'm not looking for a pity party or for people to feel sorry for the "big girl". I'm just saying that Bridal gown shopping is one place (like bathing suit shopping) where "bigger girls" may feel fuller then they already are, it's defiantly not for the faint of heart that's for sure. I mean a smaller woman can fit into a bigger dress and have it pinned to fit, but a bigger girl ends up feeling (and looking) like a sausage in a dress that is obviously too small for her... bratwurst anyone?

I know, I know, it is all about fit and finding balance, and when total balance is achieved the dress will look fabulous. In fact, I think I found a dress that makes me smile and if I didn't have boobs and an ass...well, it would look as good as it does.

However, still have to get back into the gym...nothing worse then back ass! But ultimatley, it's about a state of mind. I will work my dress like it's nobody's business because I know I can rock it.

Unveiled

290 days to go

I never pictured myself as a princess at my wedding. Honestly, I've always seemed to be a low key kind of girl. I will admit, I pictured the dress, the venue, the food. But never in the snapshots of my mind did I wear a veil. It always seemed too old fashioned for my taste, and too girlie to suite my Tomboy personality. It wasn't until I was trying on dresses and the pushy sales women put it in my hair (to increase sales) did I ever considered the option. "It makes you look more like a Bride" they would say...Ummm...Hello...I'm the one wearing a big white dress.

There are just so many different styles out there that I figured I'd do some research to what worked for me. Plus, I have to do my homework since some of these suckers cost upward of $300.00. If you thought a veil was a veil, well, I'm sorry to tell you that you have been misinformed. Off the top of my head I can count five. Cathedral, Bubble, blusher, fingertip and birdcage. Not to mention the various embellishments (because being a bride is all about the bedazzle :P)

Cathedral: Think Royal wedding of Diana and Charles circa 1986. That sucker goes on for miles. But you can get them shorter and with less or more layers- they just go by different names (sweep, fingertip, teired)

Bubble: Think Bride of Chuckie

Blusher: It's supposed to cover your face in case you have to compose yourself. These are the ones where the groom lifts it over your face to kiss the bride. Usually a shorter veil.

Fingertip: The common veil warn today. It cascades down to about the fingertips and can be warn over the face or not.

Birdcage: That's the one that attaches to the head and covers your face (sometimes partially) with a cage like fabric (french netting) rather then the traditional tulle.

Does a veil really make a Bride's ensemble? If I opt for no veil will I look back at my photos and regret it? Can I wear a veil without looking or feeling silly? These are all questions running through my mind as I flip through the various magazines and online photos. I've never been a Fru Fru type of girl, despite having an obsession for shoes , bags and the occasional gotti accessory; but then I realize that I do want the whole experience of being a Bride. I want to walk down that aisle feeling like a Bride. We all hope that we will only get married once; so why not pull out all the stops (within reason).

I have since decided on a veil style but I'm sorry you will all have to wait to see the end result. And for those of you who know....shhhhh

Question is, will it fit my big Bride head?

A Hairy Situation

306 days to go.

I have realized my biggest mistake since moving to Ottawa four years ago. I never found (committed) to a hairstylist. Now as I search the city for an affordable and reputable (and mobile) stylist I'm finding it next to impossible. I always laughed when Q told me to find a stylist here. I would explain to him how the relationship between a woman and her stylist is very important and should not be entered in lightly. The trust I have in my current stylist (in T.O and cannot travel) is unparalleled. He's been cutting my hair since I was 16, how do I just move on?

Now I know I should have. I have been looking all over the city for a mobile hair stylist for my wedding day. I find that once you use the word "wedding" you have officially given businesses to financially rape you. They know you will spend it and they will gouge every penny from you. Look I'm not usually cheap...ok, maybe a little. But how does one justify $200 on getting one's hair did? Really? I don't even spend that when I get it cut! Plus, throw in extensions if my hair doesn't grow long enough and the hair of my Maid of Honor, mother and soon to be mother in-law... I repeat... Financially raped.

All I know is that this part of the planning is actually really stressing me out. More so then the dress. I guess because I'm not talented enough to do a really good job with my hair, and plus, this is the way I will look on the day I get married...there is just a little bit of pressure don't you think.

The Tale of the Sassy Bride's Shoes

318 days to go


Once upon a time, in the cold far way land there was a Sassy Bride who was in search of the perfect pair of wedding shoes. Shoes were the ultimate in accessory as far as she was concerned and she knew that the perfect pair of Sassy shoes would complete her Sassy wedding day. After all what Sassy Bride would walk down the aisle in anything less?

Imagine her excitement when she first went dress shopping. After all the wonderful dresses she couldn't wait to go look for shoes, even though she had not found a dress yet. The Sassy Bride and her Sassy sidekick were on a mission. Find a pair of shoes that could only be described as one thing...Sassy. Browsing (and trying on) the Manolo's, the Stewart Weizman's and the Prada the Sassy Bride found two with true Sassy potential. Enter a Sassy Bride's two best

friends...Gucci and Valentino. As she slipped them on she couldn't help but feel fabulous. She didn't walk to the mirror, she strutted; so much so she didn't want to take them off. "How much are they?" asked the Sassy sidekick...."um...$795.00" replied the Sassy Bride. She quickly used her Asian genes and did the math. With tax that's $898.35. "Hmmm..."the Sassy Bride said "I'll have to think about it" . Deep down inside the Sassy Bride knew she couldn't buy them, no matter how fabulous they were; her Prince Charming would not be impressed. After all, add $100.00 and you got a mortgage payment. But they were fabulous, no doubt about it.

Torn between being sensible and being financially irresponsible the Sassy Bride continued to look for the perfect wedding shoes. All seemed hopeless. Was there no store in this cold, fashion challenged city that housed shoes sassy enough for this Sassy Bride? One evening as she walked store to store she saw a pair with a bit of sass and a very high heel. Since the Sassy Brides shoe mantra has always been "If it's not a stiletto, it's not worth wearing" these shoes were right up her ally. "A size 8 1/2 and a size 9 please" she asked the sales girl. As she slipped the size 9 on ( yes, she has giant, not-so-sassy feet) she realized they would be too big. "On to the 8 1/2!" too small. What she going on? The Sassy Bride even tried to insert a gel insert to the size 9 to help them fit....No such luck! At Browns Shoes, the Sassy Brides feet were more size 8 3/4 then anything... :(

Broken hearted the Sassy Bride continued on her journey. Like a light shining at the end of the tunnel she saw them. She had seen them on the Internet and on a wedding forum before (only in another colour) It all made sense, the Sassy Bride thought; who is the Sassiest of them all? Barbie! Now, our Sassy Bride has never dressed like Barbie, never wanted to be like Barbie or even ever played with Barbie. Barbie and our Sassy Bride were utter strangers. But there they were...Barbie shoes.

As it turned out, Barbie was celebrating her Ruby birthday, and to honor her a line of shoes were designed. As the Sassy Bride tried them on she imagined walking down the aisle (and dancing the night away) Given, they may not be ideal for dancing, but with the money saved, she could

always look for Sassy Dancing shoes on another occasion as well. Now our Sassy Bride knows they're not her Gucci's or even her dream Louboutin's. But they are Sassy, Satin

and sexy....oh and they didn't cost this Sassy Bride a mortgage payment.

And yes, The Sassy Bride is wearing her Sassy Shoes while she writes this Sassy entry.

Putting it All in Perspective

320 Days to go

**Originally written September 21, 2009**

I don’t know why I’ve been letting this dress thing occupy so much of my time. I mean I’ve been sifting through websites, magazines and bridal salons...for what? A dress I’m only going to be wearing for a few hours? Aside from this being the most expensive dress I would have bought to date, I guess there is a lot of pressure on women to find a perfect dress and look smashing in it, after all she is the centre of it all on HER day…or is she?

Quite honestly I don’t want to be the centre of it all. It’s not MY day, it’s OUR day. Yes, I’ll plan it and make it fabulous, but I want our relationship to be the focus, not what I’m wearing; and I feel my OCD is taking the slowly killing the experience for me. Now I am aware that much of this is self induced. I have a tendency to over obsess and over analyze the smallest of details. Damn it, I should be enjoying this. I should be relishing in trying on dresses reserved for the most special of occasions and I should be excited, giddy even; not stressed out over not meeting society’s idea of perfection or obsessing over body image.

L said it best when she e-mailed me and said “But get whatever dress you want. If you think you look great in it, then get it as long as it doesn't break your budget you know?” Let’s be honest, not all of us will look like the “perfect bride” and may not even want to. I don’t think it’s quite my style. Tell you the truth; 5 years from now, people probably won’t even remember how I looked in my dress. My comfort should be the deciding factor. I need to shift focus from a dress to my future hubby and our relationship. This wedding is not to celebrate me. It’s to celebrate our life together and for our guest to have a great time and know how much they mean to us.

I think I need to go home and watch the Sex and the City movie again. I need to be reminded that when you find the right man; all that matters is the two of us. Even the most fantastic Vivian Westwood gown couldn't compare to a simple two piece if you are on the arm of the one you love.