Weighing in

148 days to go

So I've been in sort of a funky frenzy lately, feeling tired and off-kilter; Not feeling like my usual organized sassy self. Maybe it's because I've been away, maybe the weather? It's gotten nicer out and it seems to be an in-my-face reminder that time is ticking and in a bat of a faulse eyelash my wedding will be here. Neglected has been my fitness regament and my diet. Laying on the beach and climbing up a Mayan Ruin does not burn the same number of calories as a spin class, especially when you are eating tacos and drinking sugary slushy drinks all day (no alcohol for this Sassy Bride).

I know what you may be thinking....What about the trainer? The Trainer worked! I lost 10 lbs and a total of 15 inches (before our getaway). As perviously ranted The Trainer had me on this crazy diet that cut out my two very food friends sugar and carbs. Carbs and I have a loving relationships. I love carbs...and carbs love me; In fact carbs loves me so much that it goes straght to my ass and makes a new home. I know that the vacation is over and in a few short months this Sassy Bride will be a Sassy Wife. So, I'm back to being conscious of what I'm eating and getting my bread loving butt back onto a spin bike.

After all, the goal is still there. To feel confident and fit (not nessessary thin) on the big day and hopefully after. It's not about how small my dress size is; it's about how I feel in my own skin. Right now I feel slow, lazy and not so fresh; not how I want to feel on the day I've been blogging about for the past 9+ months. I know that once I get back into the groove I'll be strutting around the house in my underwear and heels...I mean even if I don't lose another inch-10 lbs...better then nothing right?

Is size is just a number?

284 days to go.

There I was laying on the couch, sick as a dog watching TV when Tyra came on. Now, I usually don't watch talk shows..especially Tyra, but this one got my attention. It was about society's perception of people based on their weight. To give you the low down she had a group of people (different shapes and sizes) and asked them to rank which body type should be at the top of the social ladder. Needless to say this cased a stir. I mean that is what makes for good television, isn't it? Especially when a former model tells us we shouldn't judge based on looks.

This made me think; Not like I had anything much else to do since I was hacking, coughing and blowing my nose. It made me think of the pressure for Brides to look a certain way one their wedding day. To be fit, lean and wear their dress like nobody's business. I will admit I have put the same pressure on myself but have fallen behind for the time being. Now, let me say if I do loose any weight I don't want it to be dramatic to the point where it's not me anymore. Last thing I want is to loose curves and be mistaken for a teenage boy. I am who I am and nothing can change that...I'd just like to be me with a smaller dress size :)

I can only speak for myself here. I feel that the pressure maybe ever more present for a woman like me. A "big girl" who has tried for years to control her weight wedding dress shopping has been tough. Don't misunderstand me, when I'm fit I love the way I look, I'll strut around in my underwear like I'm a super model. But when I'm not well...let's not go there. This turned my focus on dress shopping, since I have yet to put a deposit down on a dress I couldn't help but wonder if I was at an unfair disadvantage because of my size.

For those of you who have never been wedding dress shopping, it humbles you. Sizing completely messed up. If you are usually a size 6 you wear an 8 in wedding dress. A size 10 wears a size 12 and so on and so on. That alone can easily deflate any ego. To add to that the fact that there is only one dress in a certain style in the store...well. There are so many dresses I wanted to try on when I flipped through the wedding magazines and the online stores. However, many of the samples were never in my size. Given if it's close enough to your size you still try it on and you get clipped into it; but what if it was off...way off. Say I needed as size 12 and it came in a 8. Let me tell you, that sucker is not fitting anywhere on this body, and the last ting I need is to come out and stand on a pedestal is a dress that doesn't do up with my ass hanging out the back.

I know a salon can't house every size of one particular dress, I just wish that some of the choices they did have in a larger size were more sexy and modern rather then looking like a giant satin duvet. Now I'm not looking for a pity party or for people to feel sorry for the "big girl". I'm just saying that Bridal gown shopping is one place (like bathing suit shopping) where "bigger girls" may feel fuller then they already are, it's defiantly not for the faint of heart that's for sure. I mean a smaller woman can fit into a bigger dress and have it pinned to fit, but a bigger girl ends up feeling (and looking) like a sausage in a dress that is obviously too small for her... bratwurst anyone?

I know, I know, it is all about fit and finding balance, and when total balance is achieved the dress will look fabulous. In fact, I think I found a dress that makes me smile and if I didn't have boobs and an ass...well, it would look as good as it does.

However, still have to get back into the gym...nothing worse then back ass! But ultimatley, it's about a state of mind. I will work my dress like it's nobody's business because I know I can rock it.