Bridesmaid...zilla?

82 days to go

I know I’ve been MIA recently, Prince Charming and I have been working overtime to make sure that Bedazzle’s list gets smaller and smaller. I am happy to say that my list has been cut down to more then half. With less then 90 days to go I’m really starting to get my butt into gear. What annoys me it the stuff I can’t get done yet, like my seating chart and place cards since all RSVPs have yet to be received (they have till July 10^th, 2010) but aside from that everything seems to be on track.

Flipping through an online wedding forum I came across a post about bridesmaids which was accompanied my this article

http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/living/bad-bridesmaids

This got me thinking … have Bridezilla’s given birth to these Bridesmaidzilla’s or is this a new creature like the article says born from years of frienamy resentment, jealously, cattiness and self centeredness.

I have been in both situations; I was a maid of honor for my sister (though I was much younger and immature at the time) and I am now a bride. Looking back in my Maid of Honor experience I just didn’t really care to be honest. I was in my early 20’s and more into what I was doing in my own life then my sisters wedding. I didn’t complain or cause a scene, like the women in the article, I was just there. I didn’t help with much I did what I had to do and that was that. To me what I was doing on Saturday night was more important; chalk it up to immature self-centeredness I guess. Now that I’m a Bride I feel bad for not helping my sister more, if I was the person I am now I would be on top of everything with no complaints, guaranteed. In fact I enjoy the planning of showers and things like that.

Currently, in my case I only have one maid of honor, my best friend since high school. I would consider myself to be a really easygoing bride in this regard. She is picking her own dress as long as the colour is appropriate, aside from that….I don’t even know what the dress looks like. Kind of scary when I think about it, but I trust her. She is making the trip back from Asia to be here for me, to have here in a dress she likes, which sits just fine by me.

But I do know that my situation is an exception. I have been in Bridal salons where bridesmaids have been in tears over the dress their Bride wants them to wear. I’ve also seen some bridesmaid’s gang up on the bride and tell her what they will and will not wear. Given, every situation is different and not all bridesmaids are hell bent on causing tension for a Brides, and not all Brides are vengeful enough to make their girls look silly in sea foam taffeta just to up their own attractiveness, but it is out there, no matter how much we may roll our eyes and shack our heads in disbelief women are catty and I stand 110% behind this statement. Intentions may be good but all you need is a small feeling of competition or envy and it can all go down hill. Be it competition or envy over the size of the ring, the wedding, the honeymoon, the shoes...whatever, all you need is a small bit of negative fuel to ignite an insecurity and BOOM it can explode into something you never thought possible. I believe it’s often due to low self-esteem and confidence on either end. What else but our own insecurities could cause us to turn on our nearest and dearest friends? If I am confidant in who I am I wouldn’t need to put down others around me to make myself feel better. I wouldn’t have to bully my Bride or dress my Bridesmaids in ugly dresses. If I was confident with who I am would consider my bridesmaids feeling and as a bridesmaid I would smile for the pictures and make sure my dear friend the Bride was taken care of...sea foam and all.

I don’t think you can ever predict that someone you thought was your good friend (good enough to be a party of your wedding party or good enough for you to be their bridesmaid) could turn into a red eyed monster taffeta but I think it does help if you forget about all the silly details and just remember what is important; true friends are there for each other, they don’t want to compete, they don’t wish to make you less attractive to make themselves look better and they don’t want to pull you down….if they do, well, maybe you have the wrong friends.

Flower Power

215 days to go.

Roses, Lilies, Baby's Breath, Hydrandias, Orchids...so many flowers what to do what to do? I've never been the flowery kind of girl (ok, maybe as a teenager I liked getting flowers from my high school boyfriend) but in adulthood flowers seemed wasted on me. I would love to be one of those women how pick up fresh flowers just because or take pleasure in smelling a rose but in reality I am just not that woman; I manage to kill Basil plants for goodness sake. So imagine the tough time I had picking wedding flowers. Really I saw flowers as a formality, something you had to have in order to have a presentable wedding. I mean come on, what was I gonna carry as I walked down the asile. So I gave in....Flowers at the wedding, but what type?

I've always been about simplicity. Yes, I have my goddy drag Queen moments but more or less I like to keep things simple. Centrepeices...simple. So it was really a no brainer when figuring our flowers for my tables. My wedding colours are black, white and pale blue. I mean really there are only so many flowers that come in blue and I couldn't very well have black flowers for my wedding; so Hydrangea it is....simple. But what about the bouquet and the bonbaniers?

Here is were it got anything but simple. As I thought about it the more I realized that my flowers would be adding to the feel of my wedding. That the flowers I chose would be a relfection of the mood I wanted for my wedding. I went in armed like I was going to floral battle. I had made a list of flowers I liked and even an insperation board...I walked out with with different flowers then I went in with. To be honest I was a bit ticked off when they told me that my choice of flowers "may not be availible" really is any Bride happy when sh is told her choices and visions could not be realized? So I flipped though books and books of other alternative flowers. My original choice of flowers for my bouquet was a wild flower called Anemone, delecate white petels with black centres. I thought they were chic and different, so imagine my disappointmnet when i was told that they don't open well and may not be available. They suggested baby Gerbera Daisies (not me) or Roses (even more not me)... I endedup ordering white Lisianthus with Hydrandias and Fressias. Fingers crossed that it all turns out pretty.

So my point here is, and yes, I do have a point; is that I totally underestimated the power of flower. More then ever, I realize that it's all in the details. Every bow, every monogram, every flower. I'm sure my wedding will look better in my had then on the actual day, but it'll be one step closer since I'll have flowers. I know I will be met with upset at times, but all I can do is roll with the punches and plan the best wedding I can. Fingers crossed that it all turns out pretty.