Bridesmaid...zilla?

82 days to go

I know I’ve been MIA recently, Prince Charming and I have been working overtime to make sure that Bedazzle’s list gets smaller and smaller. I am happy to say that my list has been cut down to more then half. With less then 90 days to go I’m really starting to get my butt into gear. What annoys me it the stuff I can’t get done yet, like my seating chart and place cards since all RSVPs have yet to be received (they have till July 10^th, 2010) but aside from that everything seems to be on track.

Flipping through an online wedding forum I came across a post about bridesmaids which was accompanied my this article

http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/living/bad-bridesmaids

This got me thinking … have Bridezilla’s given birth to these Bridesmaidzilla’s or is this a new creature like the article says born from years of frienamy resentment, jealously, cattiness and self centeredness.

I have been in both situations; I was a maid of honor for my sister (though I was much younger and immature at the time) and I am now a bride. Looking back in my Maid of Honor experience I just didn’t really care to be honest. I was in my early 20’s and more into what I was doing in my own life then my sisters wedding. I didn’t complain or cause a scene, like the women in the article, I was just there. I didn’t help with much I did what I had to do and that was that. To me what I was doing on Saturday night was more important; chalk it up to immature self-centeredness I guess. Now that I’m a Bride I feel bad for not helping my sister more, if I was the person I am now I would be on top of everything with no complaints, guaranteed. In fact I enjoy the planning of showers and things like that.

Currently, in my case I only have one maid of honor, my best friend since high school. I would consider myself to be a really easygoing bride in this regard. She is picking her own dress as long as the colour is appropriate, aside from that….I don’t even know what the dress looks like. Kind of scary when I think about it, but I trust her. She is making the trip back from Asia to be here for me, to have here in a dress she likes, which sits just fine by me.

But I do know that my situation is an exception. I have been in Bridal salons where bridesmaids have been in tears over the dress their Bride wants them to wear. I’ve also seen some bridesmaid’s gang up on the bride and tell her what they will and will not wear. Given, every situation is different and not all bridesmaids are hell bent on causing tension for a Brides, and not all Brides are vengeful enough to make their girls look silly in sea foam taffeta just to up their own attractiveness, but it is out there, no matter how much we may roll our eyes and shack our heads in disbelief women are catty and I stand 110% behind this statement. Intentions may be good but all you need is a small feeling of competition or envy and it can all go down hill. Be it competition or envy over the size of the ring, the wedding, the honeymoon, the shoes...whatever, all you need is a small bit of negative fuel to ignite an insecurity and BOOM it can explode into something you never thought possible. I believe it’s often due to low self-esteem and confidence on either end. What else but our own insecurities could cause us to turn on our nearest and dearest friends? If I am confidant in who I am I wouldn’t need to put down others around me to make myself feel better. I wouldn’t have to bully my Bride or dress my Bridesmaids in ugly dresses. If I was confident with who I am would consider my bridesmaids feeling and as a bridesmaid I would smile for the pictures and make sure my dear friend the Bride was taken care of...sea foam and all.

I don’t think you can ever predict that someone you thought was your good friend (good enough to be a party of your wedding party or good enough for you to be their bridesmaid) could turn into a red eyed monster taffeta but I think it does help if you forget about all the silly details and just remember what is important; true friends are there for each other, they don’t want to compete, they don’t wish to make you less attractive to make themselves look better and they don’t want to pull you down….if they do, well, maybe you have the wrong friends.