Bride Wars?

We all know women are each others main competition. We compete for men, jobs and compare ourselves to each other on many aspects of our lives. I’m not saying it’s particularly healthy, but we do it none the less. L and I got engaged at around the same time and have been planning our weddings together. I must say it is refreshing to have a person there that understands what you are going thorough. To be honest, I thought I may have felt a bit of competition when I first realized that we would have our wedding in the same year. But that quickly faded when I realized we both want completely different things. L has a lot of family to accommodate and her wedding is in Hamilton, while mine is small and low key in Ottawa. It turned out well; we can actually help each other and bounce ideas around rather then trying to out do one another. But not all of us are so lucky. What happens when you do feel yourself competing with a friend and you secretly want your wedding to kick the ass of theirs?

Oh come on, don’t shake your finger at me. We would be lying to ourselves if we said we didn’t compare out events to that of those passed or those we know are coming up. It just depends on the degree of competition I guess; I think it’s perfectly natural. I truly believe women naturally compete with each other in every aspect in life, why should our wedding be any different. If not why would we care what we look like, how thin we are, how the decorations are and what kind of flowers we want. Really it’s to impress the guest, with the hope that they leave remembering how wonderful the wedding was in comparison to the others they have attended.

I am happy that L and I don’t have that kind of competition, LOL - L may beg to differ, but what happens when the one you are comparing yourself with is a frienamie? You know, the one you have been friends with forever, but you guys hit all your milestones together and you can’t help but to try and steal each others thunder. Or she may have been a very close friend at one time and you guys had a falling out. We all have one or maybe even two in our lives. She is that person that no matter how fabulous you may feel she can make you feel like crap. She is the one you compare your career to, your looks to, your kids to and yes, even your husband/boyfriend too. Heck, she may even be planning her wedding at the same time as you. So when it comes to what is said to be the “biggest day of your life”, well forgive me for allowing all of us to do what we need to do and not feel bad about it what so ever. Look I’m not saying to over obsess to the point of unhealthy mental behavior; all I’m saying is that it’s ok to feel this way, it’s natural. No need to feel bad, or feel like you’re a bad person. I think it’s more important to acknowledge the fact that the tiny rivalry exists, if not, we would just be lying to ourselves.

This being said, there is a very fine line to be walked by a bride. One step can define weather or not you have allowed the competition to get the best of you, it could ruin the experience. After all, you want to enjoy this process, you want to be happy on your wedding day and soak up the accolade of how wonderful everything is and how beautiful you look; hopefully you only do it once, and she gets a big nose zit on her special day. J