Waiting For The Inevitable.

131 days to go.

Bridezilla! A term now associated with picky, out spoken, controlling brides everywhere. Some brides know very early on that they are destined to turn into a Bridezilla, some fight it with everything they’ve got but end up morphing into this creature at some point and others, well, they are just so organized, easy going and relaxed that they are immune to the change. There is something about planning a wedding that makes a woman crazy. It’s the most amazing thing; this one event has the power to bring out the best and the worst in people and puts so much pressure on the happy couples, let’s be honest mainly the bride, that after a few months of planning, well, things are not so happy anymore.

I’m lucky enough to be one of those women who knew early on of what I would become, so none of my behavior came as a surprise. Most importantly, Prince Charming knew, and he had taken a step back and allowed me to single handedly plan almost everything myself (I have a problem with wanting to do everything myself), obviously with his input on the important things of course. But since our day is fast approaching, I had to wonder when my real Bridezilla behavior would begin. So far it’s been mild, there has been lots of stress but meltdowns have only revolved around customer service, parents and time…LOL… only :P

Why is there so much pressure? Is it the parents? Why do we want to make everyone happy, instead of just ourselves? And most important why do we let it get to us? So many questions, I wish I had the answers, but I think it’s due to 3 simple reasons.

1. Parents and family. They hijack our wedding plans, or try to with the hopes of giving us the best day we could possibly imagine. Unfortunately, it’s the day of our dreams according to them. If you are anything like me this poses a problem since my parents and I are very different. We have different tastes and different ideas of what my wedding should be like. My answer to this? Pay for everything yourself, that way you have total control over the wedding and don’t tell your parents anything. I made that mistake and had an incident (see entry Black and White). If it means having a smaller wedding, do it. That way you can invite your friends instead of having 3 tables of your mom and dad’s acquaintances congratulating you while you try to figure out who they are. Let’s just hope they were generous with the card ;)

2. Media. “Say yes to the dress”, “Rich Bride Poor Bride”, and a number of other reality based TV shows makes us feel that we have to plan it bigger, badder and better. Before TLC’s “Say yes to the Dress” I would have never thought of paying 10K for a dress, but people do it! And on the show that’s considered mid range. The most expensive dress I’ve seen purchased was 25K...Hmm….down payment on a house or a dress I’ll only wear once? Tough call.

3. Ourselves. We are our worst enemy. We let all these outside factors effect what should be one of the happiest days of our life. We put these expectations on ourselves and never question if they are realistic. Case in point the dress; we (myself included) stress over finding THE dress, expecting this wave of emotion to wash over us telling us that it’s the right one. We never stop to think, maybe I wont have that “the one” moment. Or, how about the whole overall picture of the wedding? We see these big budget weddings on TV or go to a friends wedding and feel the pressure to measure up, and sometimes it’s just not financially possible.

Ice sculptures, imported flowers, chocolate fountains, designer dresses, and exotic locations; these are all things that are great to have and granted add overall look and feel of your wedding, but it makes me wonder is the stress worth is? As a Bridezilla myself the answer for me is Yes, but that’s just me.

Obviously, there are so many other factors that cause Bridezilla behavior, too many to mention here. But my point here is this. If you are going to became a Bridezilla know that it’s not just you, external factors have lead your down this path. Be controlling, picky and out spoken, be yourself, it’s your day. Just keep it in check and remember that it’s just one day, and if you piss people off enough, the day of your dreams may end up being a nightmare.

**Please note that this Bantering Bride will not have Ice sculptures, imported flowers, chocolate fountains, a designer dress, and exotic location because she is poor and refuses to bankrupt herself for a dream wedding**