Prince Charming's Gift.

243 days to go.

On Christmas morning our Sassy Bride awoke to find a wonderful gift from her Prince Charming. She took one look at the envelope and smiled. Prince Charming had given her a gift certificate to a well known Toronto landmark for our Sassy Bride to buy a dress. Oh, but this wasn't just any old dress, this was the dress the Sassy Bride had sadly parted ways with on her previous pilgrimage to the T-dot. It was too expensive and the Sassy Bride couldn't bare to spend the Benjamins on this dress for her wedding reception...after all, it wasn't ever her wedding dress. But there it was, a gift card that paid for a good chunk of the dress. insert Sassy smile here

As the Sassy Bride hugged and thanked Prince Charming (no kisses because he was sick) she found out the trouble he had gone to to to make our Sassy Bride's Christmas morning a happy one. You see this lovely Toronto Boutique ( http://fashioncrimes.ca) didn't have online shopping, so our Prince Charming hopped onto his horse (Aka; Mazda) and made the trip to Toronto and back just to get our Sassy Bride a gift certificate so she would have something to open on Christmas morning...that's a 10 hour drive total people!

Since they both had a few days off, down through The Shwa, and Scarlam into The 416 to pick up the dress they went. Still the Sassy Bride couldn't believe the dress she loved so much would be hers; but more yet, that Price Charming went through all the trouble just to give our Sassy Bride a special dress for her wedding day. While all the stylists commented on the how sweet Prince charming was, the dress was modeled and Prince Charming approved with a smile it was bought, paid for and wrapped up. There amongst to satin and taffeta our Sassy Bride felt a warm glow inside. There is no better feeling then knowing you are going to merry the best man for you; That there is nobody out there in this world that can make you feel the way he does. And for that this Sassy Bride couldn't ask for anything more, and that was the best Christmas gift of all.

Beautiful On My Own Terms

251 days to go.

So last week I started with a personal trainer with the hopes of slimming down for my upcoming nuptials. I mean really, who wants to look like a sausage on their wedding day right? I guess I thought it would be a good idea; I mean what better reason to get into shape then your wedding day...and what better motivation. After all I have to look back at the photos when I'm old and gray, last thing I want is to look back and wish I worked out a little more and feel bad about the way I looked. To be completely honest, I know I've put on the pounds these past few years, maybe it's the fact that I am so comfortable with my life, or the fact that I have been flat out lazy...OK, Let's face it, it's partially because Little Cesar's offers Crazy Bread, and I love Crazy Bread!

I've always been really good with working out...that is when I get my junk in the trunk ass to the gym. Working out was not the issue, it was, and still is the eating part that kiboshes my efforts. I must say, this Bantering Bride does love her food. She loves her bacon, her butter, her bread, her cheese and everything else that's bad for you. So imagine my concern when my trainer gave me a meal plan to follow. Tuna, Chicken,no red meat, egg whites and portion control. Usually this wouldn't bother me, I actually like egg whites but no red meat? So I gave it a shot. Did I end up cheating? Yes, am I ashamed? No.

A few days into it I realized that the diet had more of an effect on me then I had imagined. Not only was i in taking less calories, I was loosing brain cells and most of all I was moody and irritable...more so then usual.

All I could think about is food. What I could and could not eat. I'm consumed about how often I was eating (because I have to eat every 3 hours to rev up my metabolism) and how much I was eating. It's out of control, I was (I'll admit, still am a little) consumed with what I was putting into my body, was I not strong enough for this? Was I deviating from my trainers plan? would I be judged? With everything going on in my head I was messing up at work, and snapping at my wonderful fiance over the smallest things. Irritable...This Bantering Bride was very irritable. So finally I made a decision.

After 4 days of dry tuna, no salt no oil and carrots, making numerous mistakes at work and 2 mini breakdowns at home I put my foot down. I realize my own limits. Don't get me wrong, I'm not abandoning my trainer and my weight loss goals; I'm just doing it on my own terms. No crash cleanse diet for me. I'm all about portion control, cutting out the bad stuff and reving up my metabolism. I realize that if I followed this strict can and cannot eat diet I would just gain it all back in a few months. I had to approach this the way I did when I quite smoking. I just changed the way I looked at things. I wasn't gonna beat myself up for indulging once in a while, I just had to realize that my indulgences had to be limited ...if not, it wouldn't be an indulgence anymore, it would just be unhealthy eating.

I'm still motivated to loose weight for the wedding but I'm starting to look beyond that. I'd like to keep it off. I'd like not to look like a sausage for my wedding day, and many days, weeks, moths, years after that. After years of beating myself up over weight I have to convince myself that the only person judging me is me...well, that should be the only judgement I care about anyway. Work in progress I'll get there Chicken breast, tuna and all. It will happen. I just have focus on me and my goal...To walk down the aisle not as a sausage in white, but as a beautiful blushing Bantering Bride.

Crazy Bread I will miss you.

Seeking Inspiration

269 days to go

Okay, I've been lagging on some of the wedding planning lately, and I'm starting to feel it. With the holidays just around the corner and contemplating a major life change for myself (as if marraige wasn't a big enough milestone) I've just had a lot to think about. Add to it I have been having a b!tch of a time finding a decent make up artist and a hair style I like. I had my hair trial a few weeks ago, and came out more confused then ever. I asked the stylist for a certain style. In retrospect I have no idea what I was thinking. I should never have even suggested such a style. To make a long story short I looked like I was getting ready for my highschool prom.

I really don't know why I suggested what I did. I think that after looking through so mny photos and websites you get this image in your mind of what you think a Bride should look like, even if it doesn't suite your personality at all. Trail #1- lesson learned. Now to find something I like and that suites me. You would think that it would be easy....negative my friends. You can't imagine how hard it is to find a style that works for a large round head Chinese woman with a "full" face...tricky, very tricky. So these past few weeks I've been flipping through magaiznes, Google images and countless websites. I guess only time will tell and I have to keep trying till I find something right; at $50.00 a pop I better find it soon.

On the bright side I did find a hairstylist that seems to know what she is doing...after all she did do what I asked her to do. Make up artist on the other hand, not so easy (please see Rant # 1) After countless email attempts I have given up on my original make up artist. Now I have to find another, good thing I had a few back ups. Appointments have been made and now I have to again find something I like. So much pressure! The thought that these pictures will stay with me for life freaks the living crap out of me. What if I end up looking like a Drag Queen? Even worse, what if I think I look good like that until I look back on my photos? Shake it off! Okay, back to my dilemma, I have a limited number of resource to draw inspiration from. I don't look like most Asian women; I'm kind of in between. I'm Chinese with Chinese features, but lack the paleness and thinness in the face. When I Google Asian make up I get pictures of people like Lucy Lu and other dainty women who have tiny features or on the flip side, women with an absurd amount of make up on in the most inappropriate colours. There aren't a lot of pictures out there of Large headed Chinese women with "full" faces. Really whats a big headed, round faced Asian to do?